Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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