return my video game
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
