see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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