your thong is hanging out like whoa
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
