so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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