He told me they were just razor bumps!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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