Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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