I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
