I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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