I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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