i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm always down for nudity.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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