.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
