if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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