come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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