I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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