I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
a search helicopter?!
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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