You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
