i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I need to sanitize my soul.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
