i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
