office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
