Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
