One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
