the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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