I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
