Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
