What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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