Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
