just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
