I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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