i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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