I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Randomize
