3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
