Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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