Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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