from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
honey bunches of taint.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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