they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
