I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
