she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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