New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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