well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
