woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
