He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
