My room smells like vodka and shame
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
