I'd wear matching sweaters with you
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Mom said you looked used
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize