good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
