omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Watching her eat just hurts me
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize