what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
