Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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