You can't motorboat a personality
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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