its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
