it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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