..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
