I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
