I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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