There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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