He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
