What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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