Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
