1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
